My father was a typical landlord. He had power, resources and connections. He had a luxurious style of life. He was fond of women and alcohol. The neighbor land lord was his blood thirsty rival. The tension between them was going on for so many years. Murders, case against each others, more murders------- same story again and again. He was also famous for a lot of injustices he had done with other peoples. I was totally opposite of my father. A quite and reserve person. He was not happy with me. He wanted me to be like him. He wanted me to attend his parties. I attended a few but my heart was not there.

One particular morning when I woke up, I found a lot of tension going on in the house. I was told that the opponent parties have entered our fields and we are going after them to teach them a lesson. Gun men boarded the jeeps and they headed towards the fields. My father was in the front jeep. The situation was pretty tense. Time passed by. No body came back. I was getting anxious. I decided to go by myself. I took a jeep and headed towards the fields. It was horrible scene. Dead and injured bodies ever where. It was a trap by the opponents. They succeeded in it. Then I saw him------lying on the ground with lifeless eyes and brain scattered all over the ground. As u sow so shall u reap. It was devastating incident for me. All the responsibility fell on me. A huge task was in front of me.

A few weeks later after this incident I was sleeping in my room. I suddenly woke up. I heard something like some body has jumped from the wall. I quickly grabbed my gun and slowly raised the curtain to take a look outside. I saw a shadow moving towards my room. Some body was trying to open the door. I kept quite. The person entered the room . I could see something in the person?s hand. The person tip toed towards the bed, raised the hand and then lowered it quickly towards the bed. But there was no body, the person found out . the person quickly turned and wanted to leave the room. I attacked from behind, grabbed the hand, the person turned towards me. His chest struck mine. I noticed some thing. I pushed him towards the bed, turned on the light. He was a pretty looking man in his early twenties with a nice mustache.. Who are u? I asked him. He didn?t answer. Are u going to tell me who are u or u want me to use the force. My name is Jamal and I want to kill malik chaudary. He responded with out any fear in his voice. I know u are not Jamal, by saying this I moved forward and pulled his mustache and also his turban .There she was-----a very pretty girl was standing in front with ragging hate and anger in her eyes. Now tell me who are u and why u want to kill malik chaudry. I asked again. He killed my brother for no reason. I have waited for so long for this day. I have promised to myself that I will kill him one day. I am very sorry to hear about your brother . I replied. You don?t have to kill him now caz he is already dead. Then I told her that I am his son khurram and he was killed recently. I can?t bring back your brother but let me know how I can pay back for your brother?s death. She didn?t answer. U can stay at my house tonight. We can talk about this in the morning. I returned her dagger and showed her the room. She was gone in the morning. She didn?t left any note or message for me.

I tried to manage the village affairs but I didn?t find any peace in it. I finally decided to sell all the lands and move to Lahore. I made up mind one morning, took the jeep and headed towards my father?s opponent village. They were extremely surprised to see me. They pointed there guns towards me and ordered me to stop or they will shoot me. I remained calm and told them that I want to meet the chaudry. They took me to him. He was also startled to see me. I stepped forward and extended my hand towards him by saying?? I am here to finish this chain of hate and to start a new friendship??. He was a sensible guy and accepted my offer with open heart. He arranged a big party for me. Later on I told him that I am planning to move to the city and would like to sell my property to him. He gladly accepted my this offer too. The deal went thru smoothly. I sold every thing, bought a nice house in Lahore city and moved there.

I was invited to a dinner by one of my friend. I parked the car outside. I had a good time. I was coming back and all of a sudden some thing touched back of my neck. ?? chup chaap drive karte raho warna goli maar doon gha?? a voice came from the back. I was scared. Hey listen! Get the money and car but don?t do any thing stupid. Shut up and just keep on driving, he shouted. I kept quite. Suddenly I found a chance when he moved the gun from my head, applied the brakes. He came flying from the back and hit the dashboard and there she was?????.. tum? I shouted in surprise. I can?t believe it. What the hell u are doing in my car. Gash??..don?t u know how to apply brake. She replied by rubbing her arms and head. U didn?t answer my question, I asked again. Well! I was trying to rob u, don?t u see. Yeah I can see that. Why did u left that night without leaving any message. She just shrugged her shoulders. How could u end u end up like this. U ask too many question and what I am doing is none of your business, she replied. Could u please drop me at my apartment, she requested. I will, I answered. She told me the directions and I reached her placed in 20 minutes. She opened the door of the apartment. There were two druggy guys there. Totally messed up ppls. Ustaad jee aage aap, they muttered. Bak bak band karoo aur bag jayo. I have a guest. They quickly left the apartment. So u are the ustaad over here, I teased her. How long u have been running this gang. For quite some time, she answered. Would u like some tea, she asked me. That would be great. She made a cup of tea for me. I am still in shock that u end up like this. Please come with me. U doesn?t belong here. Leave me alone, she replied harshly. I know what I am doing and stop having pity on me. I decided to leave after couple of more minutes. I want to leave my visiting card with u, just in case if u ever change your mind, don?t hesitate to call me. She took the ??card?? from me and tossed it on the bed like?? I don?t care??. I kept on waiting with a hope that she will call me but she never called. I went to her place after one month but she was gone. She didn?t left any clue behind.

I decided to join Punjab university after a few months. I took political sciences. I don?t know why but I couldn?t get rid of her thoughts. I got busy with my classes. The election season came. There was a lot of activities every where. I was sitting in the cafeteria on after noon having a cup of tea. The door of the cafeteria opened and there she was---------- waqt jese tham sa geya. She was wearing a light green shalwar qameez. She entered the cafeteria. A lot of eyes went towards her. She was looking to find a place to sit and then her eyes met mine. She was surprised to see me. She came towards my table and grabbed the chair. Tu tum mera pheecha nehin chohro ge. She smiled. Ziddi tu mein hoon par khamosh type ka, I replied. My heart was jumping with joy. Where did u go? U didn?t left any message for me? U never called me? Toba toba so many questions at once. She laughed. I dint want to face u. I don?t know why. I thought about the thing u said that I don?t belong here. I decided to give up every thing and here I am now taking fine arts courses. She omitted a lot of things which I wanted to ask but I didn?t force her. I left it on time. Her name was zara. We started meeting almost daily. I found her talking a couple of times to an old guy who had a fruit shop inside the campus. I asked her once who is this guy but she changed the topic. I want to meet your parents and I want to come to your house. I said to her on day. She became a little bit anxious. I repeated the wish a few more time and one day she finally agreed and gave the address and told me to come in the evening. I was very happy.

I reached her house at about 5:00p.m. I managed to find it pretty easily. It was in the outskirts of Lahore. I knocked at the door. She opened it. You are on time . she smiled. Let me introduce u to my father. The same old guy from the campus shop was her father. Let me introduce u to my husband too. She suddenly said. My heart almost stopped beating. She took me to a room. A good looking guy was lying on the bed. Sohrab! She called him. This my friend khurram from the university. I shook hand with him but I could see the hate in her eyes for me. Sohrab had an accident a few months ago and his spinal cord got damaged. He cant walk. He is paralyzed. She told me. He was constantly starring at me with stabbing eyes. I wanted to leave now, I told her. She didn?t stop me. She came to say good bye to the door. I wanted to shout at her. How could u do that. But my words got stuck in the throat. My eyes were full of tears. She kept on looking at the ground and kept on scratching the surface with her toe. I left. My whole world was upside down. I had no idea how I managed to drive back home with out any accident.

She disappeared again. I didn?t see her again in the campus. I went to ask her father but he remained quite. I went to her house after a few weeks but she was not there. Time passed by. I finished my course and came to U.K for a change. I was once coming out from a bank and I saw here again. She saw me too. She wanted to run away but I didn?t let her go. Zara! Plz listen to me. I stopped her. This was not the zara which I met in Pakistan. She had dark circles underneath her eyes. Her face was pale and she has lost a lot of weight. I took her to my house. What u have done to her?. U left again. What are u doing here in U.K. U have to tell me everything . I had a big fight with my husband when u left that day. He accused me on having an affair with you. The things got worse day by day. I dropped my classes too. Finally it ended up in divorce in a few weeks. I decided to move here and started a job. Are u using drugs. I asked her. Yes and it?s none of your business. Yes! It?s my business. I shouted at her. U can?t do this to me any more. U needs to see a doctor. I took her to a doctor. Her systems are extremely messed up. Doctor told me after running the labs. She has to under go a very strict rehab program other wise ??? don?t worry doctor. I will take care of every thing. I assured him. I will admit her to the hospital tomorrow and we will start the treatment. We came back home and I told her about what doctor had said to me. She didn?t seem to be concerned. Tomorrow we are leaving for the hospital. She was gone again when I woke up in the morning. I tried to find her. I did my best but there was no sign of her.

I came back to Lahore. Time passed by. I couldn?t get her thoughts out of my mind. I was sitting in my house one evening reading a novel, the phone bell rang. I picked up the phone. There was a female on the other side. She sounded in panic. I need to talk to Mr. khurram , she said. I am khurram, I replied. Could u plz come to my house. She asked hurriedly . but what?s the matter, I asked again. There is girl and I believe u know her. My heart almost stopped beating. Which girl? My voice trembled. Zara--- she replied. How u know her. U have to come here asap. Time is running short. I will tell u the detail once u are here. She quickly gave me her address. I quickly got into the car and rushed towards her house. I had no idea that how many traffic signals i broke. I reached there within 25 minutes. I knocked at the door. An old women in her late 50?s opened the door. She looked very scared. How u know her. Plz tell me. I asked again. She came to me a few months ago. She was looking for a room to stay. I gave her the room. She used to pay me the rent regularly and then suddenly she stopped paying it. I inquired what?s going on. I lost my job. She told me and I am looking for a new one. I will pay all the money as soon as possible. I suspected a few time that she is using drugs caz her condition is was getting worse day by day. She didn?t come out this morning. I went to her room to see her. I saw her lying on the bed almost lifeless. I tried to wake her up but she didn?t respond. I didn?t have any info about any of her relative. I checked her purse with a hope that I might find any address that I can?t contact and that?s what I found. She told me every thing in one breath and handed over my ??visiting card?? to me which I once gave her long time ago. The card was in pretty messed up shape but still my name and number was readable. I rushed to her room. There she was lying on the bed with lifeless eyes. She was gone. Time came to a stand still for me. Mein uss ke palang ke sarhane beth geya aur photo photo ke roone laga.

P.S: i read this story almost 12 years ago. i just tried to translate it in my tutti phutti english but i think i couldnt do much justice with it in english.