Village Journals
Resonate your identity with Naseeb journals. Express your opinions, share your thoughts, post your writings and connect with like minded people through the power of expression.
Resonate your identity with Naseeb journals. Express your opinions, share your thoughts, post your writings and connect with like minded people through the power of expression.
My Body is Not Who I am... It's Just Where I Iive.
My Body is Not Who I am... It's Just Where I Iive.
It seems to me that many of us don't really know who we are.
We have our very own personal identity crisis.
We spend our very busy lives doing stuff, achieving stuff.... but still not really knowing who we are.
What's you're identity?
Who are you really?
If we take away all your stuff... then... who are you?
Yeh, we know what you do for a job, we know what you look like, we know what you drive, where you live and what you've done... but who are you beyond all that?
Are you the sum of your achievements and possessions... or are you something much greater?
What are you known for?
What will you be remembered for?
Have you thought about it?
Do you care?
How do others see you?
When people (who perhaps don't know you intimately) refer to you, what's your label?
"Oh, you know Todd; he's the surfie guy with the Brad Pitt body and the killer blue eyes."
"Sure you know Sarah; fifty-ish, heaps of money, owns that kid's clothing label, drives a Porsche.... blonde hair"
"Simon?... oh yeh, he's that arrogant, how-good-am-I bodybuilder with the gigantic arms, tiny head, bad skin, horrible breath and no self-esteem."
And waddabout your family and friends; what kind of identity do you have with them?
"Yeh, dad's kinda... well.. I guess he does love us....I think... he's pretty moody though... but it's probably because he's tired, being the workaholic that he is... and anyway... as he always says; he's doing it all for us kids..... funny, doesn't feel like it sometimes"
For some people, their identity is their body (a body builder maybe, a model perhaps), or part thereof (the flat-chested girl who 'buys' herself some gigantic breasts).
I see this (my-body-is-who-I-am syndrome) a lot in my work, and as ironic as it may seem, I actually spend most of my time helping people develop anything but their body.
When our total identity (who we are) is something external (to our mind, our spirit, our nature - the essence of who we really are), then we set ourselves up for pain, disappointment and anxiety.
As long as our identity is rooted in something which can be taken from us (looks, jobs, money, toys), we'll always be insecure.
For some people their identity is their career... "did I mention that I'm a CEO now?"
Their car... "wanna go for a spin in my....?"
Their house...."yeh, I probably don't need the thirteen bedrooms but..."
Their money... "got most of my money tied up in property, shares and a few others strategic investments..."
Their academic achievements... "yeh, just finished my Phd".. (great achievement but it's not who you are... it's a thing you did!).
Their fearsome reputation... "I've got seventeen black belts, I bench press a thousand pounds and I eat live chickens for breakfast"(and I'm an insecure idiot who desperately needs your approval).
Whatever their identity is....it's the thing which gives them (a level of) confidence and self esteem (in front of others anyway)... makes them feel more secure, safer, happier, better about themselves (for a while).
Earlier this week I went to a funeral to celebrate the life of an amazing woman.
And while she had done much in her life (practical stuff, career stuff, sporting stuff), her children (all seven of them) got up and spoke about who their mother really was.
Her identity.
And this wasn't just some feel-good, emotional fluff... no, they painted an accurate picture of who this woman was.
She wasn't a job, or a possession, or a body, or an achievement... although she had achieved much.
No, she was a selfless, loving, caring, generous, passionate, strong individual who influenced and affected many... and left the world (or her part of it) a better place.
As I sat in that service with tears rolling down my cheeks (there goes my wanna-be-alpha-male identity), I thought to myself... I hope there are a few people present saying similar things when I'm done down here on the big blue ball.
It's great that we set goals and it's great to strive to be a high achiever (I do).
And there's also absolutely nothing wrong with being wealthy, having a great body, an incredible career, a great home, practical goals (financial, physical, competitive, career) and even a few toys...
... as long as what we do, what we own... or what we look like... hasn't become who we are.
And as long as we are not the sum of our achievements and possessions but in fact, something much greater.
Who are you?
Tell us your thoughts on identity.
craigharper.com.au
It seems to me that many of us don't really know who we are.
We have our very own personal identity crisis.
We spend our very busy lives doing stuff, achieving stuff.... but still not really knowing who we are.
What's you're identity?
Who are you really?
If we take away all your stuff... then... who are you?
Yeh, we know what you do for a job, we know what you look like, we know what you drive, where you live and what you've done... but who are you beyond all that?
Are you the sum of your achievements and possessions... or are you something much greater?
What are you known for?
What will you be remembered for?
Have you thought about it?
Do you care?
How do others see you?
When people (who perhaps don't know you intimately) refer to you, what's your label?
"Oh, you know Todd; he's the surfie guy with the Brad Pitt body and the killer blue eyes."
"Sure you know Sarah; fifty-ish, heaps of money, owns that kid's clothing label, drives a Porsche.... blonde hair"
"Simon?... oh yeh, he's that arrogant, how-good-am-I bodybuilder with the gigantic arms, tiny head, bad skin, horrible breath and no self-esteem."
And waddabout your family and friends; what kind of identity do you have with them?
"Yeh, dad's kinda... well.. I guess he does love us....I think... he's pretty moody though... but it's probably because he's tired, being the workaholic that he is... and anyway... as he always says; he's doing it all for us kids..... funny, doesn't feel like it sometimes"
For some people, their identity is their body (a body builder maybe, a model perhaps), or part thereof (the flat-chested girl who 'buys' herself some gigantic breasts).
I see this (my-body-is-who-I-am syndrome) a lot in my work, and as ironic as it may seem, I actually spend most of my time helping people develop anything but their body.
When our total identity (who we are) is something external (to our mind, our spirit, our nature - the essence of who we really are), then we set ourselves up for pain, disappointment and anxiety.
As long as our identity is rooted in something which can be taken from us (looks, jobs, money, toys), we'll always be insecure.
For some people their identity is their career... "did I mention that I'm a CEO now?"
Their car... "wanna go for a spin in my....?"
Their house...."yeh, I probably don't need the thirteen bedrooms but..."
Their money... "got most of my money tied up in property, shares and a few others strategic investments..."
Their academic achievements... "yeh, just finished my Phd".. (great achievement but it's not who you are... it's a thing you did!).
Their fearsome reputation... "I've got seventeen black belts, I bench press a thousand pounds and I eat live chickens for breakfast"(and I'm an insecure idiot who desperately needs your approval).
Whatever their identity is....it's the thing which gives them (a level of) confidence and self esteem (in front of others anyway)... makes them feel more secure, safer, happier, better about themselves (for a while).
Earlier this week I went to a funeral to celebrate the life of an amazing woman.
And while she had done much in her life (practical stuff, career stuff, sporting stuff), her children (all seven of them) got up and spoke about who their mother really was.
Her identity.
And this wasn't just some feel-good, emotional fluff... no, they painted an accurate picture of who this woman was.
She wasn't a job, or a possession, or a body, or an achievement... although she had achieved much.
No, she was a selfless, loving, caring, generous, passionate, strong individual who influenced and affected many... and left the world (or her part of it) a better place.
As I sat in that service with tears rolling down my cheeks (there goes my wanna-be-alpha-male identity), I thought to myself... I hope there are a few people present saying similar things when I'm done down here on the big blue ball.
It's great that we set goals and it's great to strive to be a high achiever (I do).
And there's also absolutely nothing wrong with being wealthy, having a great body, an incredible career, a great home, practical goals (financial, physical, competitive, career) and even a few toys...
... as long as what we do, what we own... or what we look like... hasn't become who we are.
And as long as we are not the sum of our achievements and possessions but in fact, something much greater.
Who are you?
Tell us your thoughts on identity.
craigharper.com.au
Comments on this journal
I think that the states when kids are largely left alone they develop certain inadequacies and insecurities. These then can become mainstream resulting a cultural kind of neurosis where people begin to find that missing something. They may find it in a heroin needle or in a bottle of liquor. They may also find it in some places that are more mainstream such as money, material goods, status, image, looks or other superficialities in attempt to restore their sense of continuum or to make them feel right in some way again. Naturally, it's almost always just temporary. Depression often results for many in our society as well as desperation for most. We continue to develop this idea that some have it good without seeing the whole picture and develop a notion of scarcity of having a "good life".
I've studied lots of cultures and evolution and see that "our culture" is unique in this manner and that many other cultures across the world such as indigenous cultures or cultures throughout history did not necessarilly share these attributes.
I think that there are four ways that I have identified that a person can restore themselves and thus find out who they really are.
1. Connect with yourself, the universe, and its creator including praying or meditating.
2. Get tremendous amounts of therapy from several people.
3. Raise your children differently so that they don't come out the same way and far exceed others starting from the very begining. An example would be to hold kinds alot before they can start moving about on their own
4. Make a living amongst those that equally share in your trials and tribulations much as a tribe would whereby all either starve or all eat. This engenders a vast array of new society norms inorder to work but it can and does work on small micro scales. And, I'm not talking about communism. Our current society model allows some to eat well while others starve.
Personally, I'm more interested in 3+4.
I also think that when we ask the question Who am I? It might also be more considerate to ask Who do I want to be?
Cheers,
Muslim