Guys who try to cop a feel before marriage are not going to marry you most likley.

Alhumdoolillah I do not speak from experience on this. But I know from speaking to sisters and brothers in Saudi Arabia that the guys over there who have "girlfriends on the phone" (remember premarital sex is a very grave sin in that country and rightly so) will never marry those girls. Why? Because those guys think that those girls will do it with anyone after marriage so why would they marry them?
I try to keep this in mind when I encounter "flirtatious" people.
Since Islam is segregated, I do not have experience with any Muslim guys in real life beyond marriage proposals that flaked out. But in searching for a husband, I do not wish to find one that is touchy feely or too flirtatious before marriage.
ANd like the saudi guys who think a girl would flirt with anyone after marriage, I feel that if a guy is going to flirt with me before marriage (outside the bounds of Islam), he would do it after marriage to other girls while married to me.

I feel the need to add that my husband had much more to offer than just his willingness to get married within a year. He's a good Muslim and a beautiful person in every aspect :)

I also found this very true when I was looking to get married. I don't know if guys think that they can get some cuz we are reverts and may have had past boyfriends. That was actually the hardest thing for me to get used to after converting. For me the best option was to look for someone who was serious about getting married and get married ASAP. We did meet up a few times and then got married about 9 months later. Having a chaperone present with me throughout meetings would've been helpful, but it was really hard for me to get used to that idea but I certainly think I should've taken that option through the whole finding a spouse process. It also shows the guy that you are serious and not looking for a boyfriend.

I am a revert and yes I did find myself in the same situation a few times. Popular opinion is that since one is from a non Muslim background they wouldnt mind some PDA.. Well its time to educate the brothers involved.

If you stick to meeting potential spouses with a chaperone, it does not happen and decorum is maintained.. Plus remember that if a man wishes for you to be his wife, he is NOT going to jump the gun and cop a feel.. I would let them know ( however intimidating that sounds but there are ways to do it diplomatically) earlier that touching me is a no no..

Girl you need to find a Wali and let him do the ground work for you. My sincere advice is dont meet anyone alone. Get a couple you trust and who know what you want to play chaperone. And let the guy come see you insetad of the other way around.. Hope that helps..

Wa alaikum asalam,

Just a question. Becuase of the community I live in it has been very difficult for me to find a go between. I've started to drive back and forth to DC again to attend the masjid and the community there. Because I live here, and am not always able to get there......what type or who can I get to be a go between? Who would be best suited to help me follow these guidelines? Inshallah I will be able to find someone.

Assalamu Alaikum,

Muslim folks who try to be touchy feely before marriage definitely violate Islamic principles no matter how sweet talkers they are. Islam is very clear about this area and put in place guidelines for communication that preserve the dignity and respect of both parties. So be careful sis and if I were you I would consider that a no-no sign.

Edgard

Thank you for some response. I was hoping that I was within my right to feel this way. I was honestly beginning to question.

There is a person I would like to seek more information on, but I'm really clueless on how to do it w/out this happening again.

a guy has to be a complete moron if he does that. Tell him to fear God.