Village Journals
Resonate your identity with Naseeb journals. Express your opinions, share your thoughts, post your writings and connect with like minded people through the power of expression.
Resonate your identity with Naseeb journals. Express your opinions, share your thoughts, post your writings and connect with like minded people through the power of expression.
How to Bake a Darwinist Chicken by Random Mutation & Natural Selection! (A Recipe in Honor of Neo-Darwinism)
Fun, fun! Let's bake a Darwinist chicken. For those of you who understand the special biological terminology that I have used here, I present, just for fun, this recipe that I had designed (oops! - "evolved") a while ago from an original baked chicken recipe online.
Ingredients:
10 mutated and boneless pieces of Gallus domesticus (chicken)
1 sleeve of Ritz crackers made from homologous, vestigial organs
3 bags of shredded sharp cheddar flagella
3 tsp junk DNA or ribosomal pepper
2 random mutations
0.25ml Benzopyrene (mutagen in tobacco smoke)
2 tbsp protoplasm
1 1/2 or 2 tsp nucleic acid oil
3 tsp sodium chloride (salt)
Plentiful supply of H2O (water)
1 large extinction event
1 9x9 Pyrex pan
Preparation:
1. Sit comfortably under the tree of life, and crush the sleeve of Ritz crackers in a large bowl until they are fine enough to be used as natural breading. Return to the kitchen.
2. Add junk DNA or ribosomal pepper, sodium chloride, and nucleic acid oil to the Ritz cracker breading. Exon-shuffle well, randomly and naturally.
3. Unintelligently thaw out the pieces of the chicken by natural selection. Randomly rinse with H2O.
4. Naturally select each piece of chicken and clumsily or idiotically (randomly) roll it through the breading. Naturally pour 1 tablespoon of protoplasm onto the Pyrex pan.
5. Allowing only the fittest 6 chicken pieces to survive, weed out the rest with a large extinction event like the one that wiped out the dinosaurs (caution: wipe out the chicken, not your kitchen). This special, foolish, crazy, and mean chicken elimination process (i.e., "survival of the fittest" 6 chicken pieces) is suggested so that the chicken gets a little taste and so that too many poor chickens do not stick to the gooey Pyrex pan, which is now, unfortunately, in punctuated equilibrium.
6. Insert by horizontal gene transfer the leftover breading precisely at the synaptic chromosomal junctions of the chicken's vertebrae. This step is crucially decisive since the extreme precision, paradoxically, must be accomplished with complete stupidity (translation: with lack of intelligence).
7. Sprinkle, at about the allelic mutation frequency of Gallus domesticus, all of the shredded cheddar flagella over the fittest chickens that have survived the extinction of their unfortunate common ancestor and that have evolved, by the coincidental naturalism of macroevolution, into a new chicken order, following the brutal extinction event.
8. Bathe the chicken in the rest of the protoplasm, and then hack into the chicken genome with 2 random mutations (1 point mutation and 1 transposon). Pour 0.25ml Benzopyrene into the mixture. Let the magic of meiotic recombination, genetic drift, gene flow, ecological selection, sexual selection, reproductive isolation, population genetics, allopatric speciation, founder effect, biogeographical migration, and all the rest of the evolutionary hullabaloo run its course. This could, arguably, be considered another random, unintelligent, natural, crazy, imprudent, and mean (RUNCIM) chicken macroevolution procedure to make the newly evolved and fittest chickens more "yummy."
9. Bake the chickens in a deep-sea volcano, perhaps somewhere in the Pacific Rim, at 750-800 degrees Fahrenheit for 350 million years. If H2O evaporates from the Earth and if the chickens subsequently deep-freeze in a planet-wide ice age for some unknown cosmic reason, defrost the chickens over the geologic course of 5,000-7,000 years.
10. Serve with intelligently designed soup (optional).
Serving Size:
Generously serves the Darwinist appetites of Dr. Richard Dawkins, Dr. Daniel Dennett, Dr. Barbara Forest, 1 evolutionary biologist, 2 materialists, 3 American public school biology teachers, 3 atheists, 4 agnostics, 8 brainwashed judges, and 20 other uninformed, misinformed, or misguided ordinary souls.
Bon appetit! (French for "enjoy your meal")
Ingredients:
10 mutated and boneless pieces of Gallus domesticus (chicken)
1 sleeve of Ritz crackers made from homologous, vestigial organs
3 bags of shredded sharp cheddar flagella
3 tsp junk DNA or ribosomal pepper
2 random mutations
0.25ml Benzopyrene (mutagen in tobacco smoke)
2 tbsp protoplasm
1 1/2 or 2 tsp nucleic acid oil
3 tsp sodium chloride (salt)
Plentiful supply of H2O (water)
1 large extinction event
1 9x9 Pyrex pan
Preparation:
1. Sit comfortably under the tree of life, and crush the sleeve of Ritz crackers in a large bowl until they are fine enough to be used as natural breading. Return to the kitchen.
2. Add junk DNA or ribosomal pepper, sodium chloride, and nucleic acid oil to the Ritz cracker breading. Exon-shuffle well, randomly and naturally.
3. Unintelligently thaw out the pieces of the chicken by natural selection. Randomly rinse with H2O.
4. Naturally select each piece of chicken and clumsily or idiotically (randomly) roll it through the breading. Naturally pour 1 tablespoon of protoplasm onto the Pyrex pan.
5. Allowing only the fittest 6 chicken pieces to survive, weed out the rest with a large extinction event like the one that wiped out the dinosaurs (caution: wipe out the chicken, not your kitchen). This special, foolish, crazy, and mean chicken elimination process (i.e., "survival of the fittest" 6 chicken pieces) is suggested so that the chicken gets a little taste and so that too many poor chickens do not stick to the gooey Pyrex pan, which is now, unfortunately, in punctuated equilibrium.
6. Insert by horizontal gene transfer the leftover breading precisely at the synaptic chromosomal junctions of the chicken's vertebrae. This step is crucially decisive since the extreme precision, paradoxically, must be accomplished with complete stupidity (translation: with lack of intelligence).
7. Sprinkle, at about the allelic mutation frequency of Gallus domesticus, all of the shredded cheddar flagella over the fittest chickens that have survived the extinction of their unfortunate common ancestor and that have evolved, by the coincidental naturalism of macroevolution, into a new chicken order, following the brutal extinction event.
8. Bathe the chicken in the rest of the protoplasm, and then hack into the chicken genome with 2 random mutations (1 point mutation and 1 transposon). Pour 0.25ml Benzopyrene into the mixture. Let the magic of meiotic recombination, genetic drift, gene flow, ecological selection, sexual selection, reproductive isolation, population genetics, allopatric speciation, founder effect, biogeographical migration, and all the rest of the evolutionary hullabaloo run its course. This could, arguably, be considered another random, unintelligent, natural, crazy, imprudent, and mean (RUNCIM) chicken macroevolution procedure to make the newly evolved and fittest chickens more "yummy."
9. Bake the chickens in a deep-sea volcano, perhaps somewhere in the Pacific Rim, at 750-800 degrees Fahrenheit for 350 million years. If H2O evaporates from the Earth and if the chickens subsequently deep-freeze in a planet-wide ice age for some unknown cosmic reason, defrost the chickens over the geologic course of 5,000-7,000 years.
10. Serve with intelligently designed soup (optional).
Serving Size:
Generously serves the Darwinist appetites of Dr. Richard Dawkins, Dr. Daniel Dennett, Dr. Barbara Forest, 1 evolutionary biologist, 2 materialists, 3 American public school biology teachers, 3 atheists, 4 agnostics, 8 brainwashed judges, and 20 other uninformed, misinformed, or misguided ordinary souls.
Bon appetit! (French for "enjoy your meal")