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Guy's Rules


At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules "
From the female side.


Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!


1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria 's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, You probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as SEX, CARS, the shotgun formation,
or BASKETBALL.


1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
 

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Login to find out (January 5, 2007 at 11:36am)
LOL! Reminds me of Tommy Blaze's skit "I Love You Now Shut Up".
 
Login to find out (December 26, 2006 at 6:43pm)
Camping is always funnn -:-
 
Login to find out (December 26, 2006 at 9:59am)
u welcome... But she says shopping is a sport for her as long as she is got my American Express and she won't work that toilet seat either. I almost gave up..
 
Login to find out (December 23, 2006 at 12:02am)
you dont have to be one, if you look as tough as a mercenary thats good enough. Good luck fending off the predators :)
 
Login to find out (December 22, 2006 at 11:45pm)
Well I am a South African, though not a mercenary and I have seen plenty of diamonds...
 
Login to find out (December 20, 2006 at 11:16pm)
Good points but i must make two corrections

1. firstly noone has enough shoes

2. who wants soap opera guys? as far as i know we all want south african mercenaries :) at least anyone who has seen blood diamond.
 
Login to find out (December 20, 2006 at 6:42am)
Finally, a sensible rule book! :)
 
Login to find out (December 19, 2006 at 1:31pm)
thats hysterical. My husband will thank whoever wrote this