WHAT AM I?

This is one of the most famous of Bulleh Shah?s kafis. In his quest for the nature of his self, it has a special place. Viziers are often asked, ?As a man, where have I come from, and where am I going?? But, it has rarely been asked, ?Who is this ?i? who comes and goes??

In answer the question ?who am I ?? Bullah says that he does not belong to any particular group or class. He is neither a pious worshipper and a believer, nor is he a member of the group of profligates. He is not committed to the Vedas nor to any other holy book. He is neither fully awake, nor fully asleep. He is neither affected by joy, nor by sorrow. He is neither among the wicked, nor among the virtuous. All these are contingent facts, dependent on something; but his essence is necessary, independent of everything.

He goes on to say that he is neither made of water nor of earth, neither of fire nor of air. He belongs neither to one country nor to another, neither to this religion nor to that. In fact, in regard to religion, he does not believe in its institutional and organized form. All the material elements of which man is made are perishable, but his essence is everlasting.

At the end, we get a clue as to what he really is, and from what source he comes. His reality is neither his body nor his mind, but his soul. The individual, shorn of all covering, is left with only the soul as its essence. The soul is immortal, and is not subject to the laws of time and space. It is free from the constraints of birth and death, of growth and decay. It is a spark of the absolute, and will ultimately marge back into him. It is in this sense that Bulleh Shah claims that he is the beginning as well as the end, and that he recognizes none except the one Lord.

Bulha, ki jaana maeN kaun.
Na maeN moman vich maseetaaN,
Na maen vich kufar deeyaaN reetaaN,
Na maeN paakaaN vich paleetaaN,
Na maeN moosa na pharaun.
Bulha, ki jaana maeN kaun.

Na maeN aNdar bed kitaabaaN,
Na vich bhaNgaaN na sharaabaaN,
Na vich riNdaaN masat kharaabaaN,
Na vich jaagan na vich saun.
Bulha , ki jaana maeN kaun.

Na vich shaadi na ghamnaaki,
Na maeN vich paleeti paaki.
Na maeN aabi na maeN khaaki
Na maeN aatish na maeN paun.
Bulha, ki jaana maeN kaun.

Na maeN arabi na lahori,
Na maeN hindi shehar nagauri,
Na hiNdu na turak peshawri
Na maeN rahinda vich nadaun.
Bulha, ki jaana maeN kaun.

Na maeN bhet mazhab da paaiya
Ne maeN aadam havva jaaiya,
Na maeN apna naam dharaaiya
Na vich baeTHan na vich bhaun.
Bulha, ki jaana maeN kaun.

Avval aakhir aap nu jaana,
Na koi dooja hor pachaana.
MaethoN hor na koi siyaana
Bulha shauh khaRa hai kaun.
Bulha, ki jaana maeN kaun.


Says Bulha, what am I?
I am not in the mosque of the believer,
Nor in false rites.
I am not in the pure or the impure.
Neither Moses nor Pharaoh.
Says Bulha, what am I?

I am not in the vedas or holy books,
Not in drug or wine.
Not in the drunkards wasted intoxication,
Not in wakefulness or sleep.
Says Bulha, what am I?

I am not in sorrow nor in joy,
Neither in clean nor unclean.
I am not water, I am not earth,
I am not fire, I am not air.
Says Bulha, what am I?

I am not from Arabia or Lahore,
Not from India or Nagaur.
Neither a hindu or a muslim from Peshawar,
Nor do I live in Nadaun.
Says Bulha, what am I?

I cannot be unearthed in the mysteries of religion.
I was not born of Adam and Eve.
I am not the name I assume.
I am not in stillness, not in movement.
Says Bulha, what am I?

In the final analysis, I can know only myself.
I cannot know any other.
No one can be wiser than I,
Who then, asks Bulha, is the master?
Says Bulha, what am I?

(Suman and J R Puri)