A little old couple walked slowly into a McDonalds one cold winter evening.

They looked out of place amid the young families and young couples eating there that night.

Some of the customers looked admiringly at them. You could tell what the admirers were thinking:


"Look, there is a couple who has been through a lot together, probably for 60 years or more!"


The little old man walked up to the cash register, placed his order with no hesitation and then paid for their meal.

The couple took a table near the back wall and started taking food off of the tray.

There was one hamburger, one order of French fries and one drink.

The little old man unwrapped the plain hamburger and carefully cut it in half.

He placed one half in front of his wife.

Then he carefully counted out the French fries, divided them in two piles and neatly placed one pile in front of his wife.

He took a sip of the drink, and then his wife took a sip as the man began to eat his few bites.

Again, you could tell what people around the old couple were saying. -
"They were used to sharing everything"

Then the crowd noticed that the little old lady still hadn't eaten a thing.

She just sat there watching her husband eat and occasionally sipped some of the drink.

A young man came over and begged them to let him buy them another meal.

The lady explained that no, they were used to sharing.

As the little old man finished eating and was wiping his face neatly with a napkin, the young man could stand it no longer and asked again.

After being politely refused again, he finally asked the little old lady, "Ma'am, why aren't you eating. You said that you share everything.

What is it that you are waiting for?"

She answered,

"THE TEETH"

----------------------------------- ----------------------------------- -------------
THE TEN-SECOND FUNNY: EUROPEAN HEAVEN AND HELL
Heaven is where:
the police are English,
the cooks are French,
the engineers are German,
the lovers are Italian,
and everything is organized by the Swiss.
?
Hell is where:
the police are German,
the cooks are English,
the engineers are French,
the lovers are Swiss,
and everything is organized by the Italians.

----------------------------------- ----------------------------------- -----------------------
Main kal bazaar ja raha tha



Ke meri chappal toot gai



AB chappal to "moochi" seeta hai



"seeta" to "darzi" bhi hai



"darzi "to "kapray" seeta hai



"kapray" to "rangeen" hotay hain



"rangeen" to "lota" bhi hota hai



" lota" to "bathroom" main hota hai



"bathroom" main to "nal" bhi hota hai



"nal" to "lohay" ka hota hai



"lohay" ki to "istiri" (Iron) bhi hoti hai



"istri" to "garam" hoti hai



"garam" to "Custard" bhi hota hai



"custard" to "peela" hota hai



"peela" to "chooza" bhi hota hai



"chooza" to "anday" main se nikalta hai



"anda" to "sufaid" hota hai



"sufaid" to "doodh" bhi hota hai



"doodh" to "bhains" daity hai



"bhains" to "kaali" hoti hai



"kaala" to "bangali" bhi hota hai



"bangali" to "paan" khata hai



"paan" to "laal" hota hai



"laal" to "gulab"bhi hota hai



"gulaab" main to "kantay' hotay hain



"kantain" to "machli" main bhi hotay hain



"machli' to "acchi" hoti hai



"achcha" to "Bander" bhi hota hai



"bander' to! "bander' hota hai



Padhne walay "bunder" jaisay hi hotay hain



"Jo padh kar apna time barbad



Karte hain.."



Well..



Ooper wale nay aap ko



Bheja to bheja .



"per bheja to



Aisa bheja...."



Ki



"bheje mein bheja hi nahi



Bheja.".



Ye mujhe kisi



NE bheja ..



Isliye Maine aap ko bheja....



Aap ko Bura Laga ?



Toh Aap Kisi



Aur ko Bhej Do.



Hisaab...barabar

*********************************** ********************
Tuesday:

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas
Party.

Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all.
He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he
wondered if he did something wrong.


Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is
a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And,
next to them, a single red rose!


Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.


He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly
clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back
at ! him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the
corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss
mark from his wife in lipstick:

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make
you your favorite dinner tonight.
I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"


He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast,
steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating.
Jack asks, "Son... what happened last night?"


"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell
over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and
got that black eye when you ran into the door.


Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order
and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for
me??"


His son replies, "Oh THAT!... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"


Broken Coffee Table $239.99


Hot Breakfast $4.20


Two Aspirins $.38


Saying the right thing, at the right time. . PRICELESS