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has added a new journalWho's In Heaven?
I was shocked, confused, bewildered as I entered Heaven's door, not by the beauty of it all, by the lights or its decor.
But it was the folks in Heaven who made me sputter and gasp, the thieves, the liars, the sinners,
murderers, the alcoholics, the trash.
There stood the kid from seventh grade who swiped my lunch money twice. Next to him was my old neighbor who never said anything nice.
Aunt Jeanette, who I always thought was rotting away in hell, was sitting pretty on cloud nine, looking incredibly well.
I asked Jesus, "What's the deal? I would love to hear Your take. How'd all these sinners get up here?
God must've made a mistake. And why's everyone so quiet, so somber? Give me a clue."
"Hush, child," said He, "They're all in shock, No one thought they'd see you here."
:) ---------------------:D
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has added a new journal1.
A small boy is sent to bed by his father.
Five minutes later.....'Da-ad....'What?' 'I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?'
'No, You had your chance. Lights out.' Five minutes later: 'Da-aaaad....'
'WHAT?' 'I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??'
'I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!' Five minutes later......'Daaaa-aaaad.....''WHAT!' 'When you come in to spank me, can you bring a drink of water?'
2. A woman says:
When I was six months pregnant with my third child, my three year old came into the room when I was just getting ready to get into the shower.
Shesaid, 'Mummy, you are getting fat!' I replied, 'Yes, honey, remember Mummy has a baby growing in her tummy.'
'I know,' she replied, but what's growing in your bum?'
3. School boy
A little boy was doing his maths homework. He said to himself, 'Two plus five, that son of a b...tch is seven. Three plus six, that son of a b...ch is nine....'
His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, 'What are you doing?'
The little boy answered, 'I'm doing my math homework, Mum.' 'And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?' The mother asked. 'Yes,' he answered. Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, 'What are you teaching my son in maths?'
The teacher replied, 'Right now, we are learning addition.' The mother asked, 'And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a b...ch is four?'
After the teacher stopped laughing, she answered, 'What I taught them was: two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four.'
shafiq
interesting :)
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has added a new journalTWO WOMEN TALKING :
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Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That's so cute!
Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn't sure when she gave me the mirror. I Mean, you don't think it's too fluffy looking?
Woman 1: No, it's perfect. I'd love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I'm pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts - that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman 1: Oh - that's funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to Take attention away from these football player shoulders of mine.
Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms, see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.
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NOW TWO MEN TALKING
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Man 1: Haircut?
Man 2: Yeah.