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In Memory - Ami Ji

By Chiragh-e-Raah

Ami Ji

it all happened so fast
now this vacuum will last,
my ears strain at the slightest sound
hoping and praying it is you that is abound
I yearn for your voice, your touch
the emptiness is just too much

ami ji ..my days and nights are fraught
i try to remember what u taught
to be strong, yet kind and caring
even if it is a lonely walk and at times wearing.
to be selfless, even though life can be relentless
to hold fast to core values
even if in this world you feel you do lose
and even though as humans we do fall
to remember allah(swt) is the most merciful of all

no doubt many hearts lie shattered
this time, i cant be strong, as mine too is tattered
your quiet strength, your resilience, your tenacity
your faith in humanity,
your constant quest to help others
your hunger for knowledge but most of all
your unrelenting compassion despite
the many painful paths, cruel twists and turns of fate
you never did hate

at present life does seem bleak
as no longer do i have the certainty
that selfless support and love now exists
yet as a humans, that need and search persists

please don't leave me this way
a little longer, do stay
I am in such disarray
you were my mainstay

my eyes search endlessly
aneother glimpse, even if only fleetingly
ami ji ...just one more sight if you please
my heart , to appease

it is memories that are left behind
in allah(swt) and those, some solace one does find
time does lie heavy more so now
yes ami ji, you were right
blessed are those who true companion have
but sincerity, honesty and selflessness rarely prevails
as many in this life let egos and other matters sail
yet your quiet faith saw you through
you always did say, be patient and see
what will be , will be

(work in progress
R/Ch - all rights reserved Oct 2013)

Comments: 14 Raters: 0 October 18, 2013 at 8:55am

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Chiragh-e-Raah (March 9, 2014 at 5:23pm)

Sum Ameen

JazakAllah

inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi rajioon. May allah(swt) grant your grand ma jannah. ameen

I lost my ami ji on friday 19th april very early morning hours :( time weighs heavy and oh so empty since then...May allah(swt) grant strength to all who lose loved ones. Ameen

Chiragh-e-Raah (October 19, 2013 at 12:02am)

Ameen
thank you black-widow

well said broken-wings.

Black-Widow (October 18, 2013 at 10:54pm)

may her soul rest in peace...

Chiragh-e-Raah (October 18, 2013 at 9:33pm)

loll WuD ...umm thanks

broken-wings, yes indeed and i do hope my write up /ode did capture part of that ie what my mother was and therefore passed on/taught me .
indeed funerals are supposed to be a stark reminder of the fragility and temporary nature of this existence/world...it is just indeed very hard to be parted from a parent who has ultimately been part of u and with u most of ur life.
thank you for providing an insightful and informative comment :)

Whoz_ur_Daddy (October 18, 2013 at 7:00pm)

Chiraag, you are SWEET! :)

Chiragh-e-Raah (October 18, 2013 at 3:39pm)

Ok ..i see Pax has removed his comments

and thank you WuD from refraining in commenting further in that regard. you are most welcome as is Pax to ofc comment otherwise :)

Chiragh-e-Raah (October 18, 2013 at 3:08pm)

Fair enough Pax ok, but i dont know if someone is telling lies or not.....all i can do is veto that no one is being rude, offensive etc.

WuD please if you want to rhetort, defend or whatever then do so elsewhere....please only use comments here if pertinent to the subject matter or content of this journal ...
who is filth or not , telling lies or not....only allah(swt) truly knows neeyut and all.
Pax and WuD..regardless of which one of u says what do not use this journal as your sounding board , boxing ring or whatever...Thanks

Whoz_ur_Daddy (October 18, 2013 at 2:54pm)

I am sorry chiraagh, this guy is such a filth who likes to instigate things and then accuse me that i am fighting women... he is the one infact use women as sexual objects... anyways i am sorry, and i wont say anything more here.

Chiragh-e-Raah (October 18, 2013 at 2:52pm)

umm Pax , please not here ....at least not the journal in memory of my ami , thanks.

thanks WuD

Whoz_ur_Daddy (October 18, 2013 at 2:47pm)

Pax, since i am not a womanizer, a person who drinks, manipulate , cheat , and causes chaos like yourself, so that's why i am not afraid of death..
You should be afraid cus you have openly admited that you exploit women for sex.. I am sorry i wont stoop to your level and converse with you anymore..

Only thing you know is to play a role of " defender of women", because in reality you re a weak person and on the net , it gives you this thrill to play a women's defender so you can get your ego boosted. Don't you get tired being on naseeb 24/7? what a pathetic life!

CHiragh, you will be OK . Don't worry girl :)

Chiragh-e-Raah (October 18, 2013 at 2:44pm)

thank you for your comment and sharing your perspective /thoughts WUD
I have and always do appreciate and understand that everything and everyone in this world is temporary , ie a gift from Allah(swt) for the time decreed. That said, i suppose i wanted to reflect at a time when i had just spent my 1st eid without my mother , on all the strengths and qualities she had as much as remember her.
Although we all know and expect people etc to depart the loss of a parent - mother is indescribable and being human beings we do feel the loss etc.

Whoz_ur_Daddy (October 18, 2013 at 1:02pm)

Chiraag, I respect your feelings, but whoever was born , will die one day. It is part of life's cycle. No need to get sad or deny something that is inevitable. The only time i would feel sad and restless if someone dies an unnatural death. like getting killed or an accident. or a kid. I am sure you ami ji lead a healthy and productive life, and now she is resting in peace. Sometimes we look at things from our narrow perspective, but that perspective may not be right from macro level. Cherish life and live life with compassion, vigor and with a clean heart. I am personally not afraid of death, not because i am religious, but i feel it's a a beginning of something new and unseen.

Just like everything else, humans get recycled too. Whoever were on this earth 100 years ago are not here today, same thing will happen to us. Earth will still be here along with our possessions, but we will be gone. It's a grim reality of life. I hope you feel better.

Chiragh-e-Raah (October 18, 2013 at 9:55am)

Ameen

and thankyou very much issaq

Chiragh-e-Raah (October 18, 2013 at 9:02am)

Ameen

yes it was ....and it was my birthday too on monday...so two occasions close together without ami ji :((
thank you very much grays ...is appreciated